J
Hello this is Joyce (:
I ♥ The Script.
imashortie.tumblr.com
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Wednesday, October 22, 2008, 8:42 PM
hello.i hav just shown my dad my report book
and i shall tell you how on earth did he react to it
enjoy(:
when i first passed my report book to my dad
he gav me a sour face and a frown
he opened my book and laughed at my fugly picture
i flipped to my results page and the first thing he tackled was
the lousiest result he could find.
he started to compare my SA1 with my SA2
and started saying "you've hardly improved at all"
he went to find every bad point he could find
even "underweight (x)"
he shifted his attention downwards to where my comments and L1R5
so i told him "call them liars if you want to"
since the school claimed i done well.
he decided to ignore that point and went on to my L1R5 15
and went on blabbering on how i must lower it if i want to get into a good JC
BLAH BLAH BLAH
must lower until 6 or 7 luhh
dunno wat shit luh.
he ended the whole thing off with
"you must work harder you know *in a frustrated unhappy tone* your sisters are so hardworking blah blah blah"
gav me an unpleasant frown and stare and signed it
well? wat did you think?
this is exactly wat happens every year x2
since i hav 2 exams every year
well not really exactly
during primary school time
they usually come with alot of discouraging words and sentences
not to mention naggings and worse
and the papers come back
words and sentence like
"you're the worst child among all 4 children do you know that? you do this you do that blah blah blah"
or mayb
"you're very irritating you know"
when asked if he could fix photoshop in the com for me
he names out every single shit thing that i hav done wrong
yes my dad just LOVES to bring out everything
he LOVES to mix things up
he LOVES to mix wat i do before and after exams together
for example i only started watching shows on youtube after exams
he would say "all day long i see you sit in front of the com, watching shows, nvr study"
blah blah blah
he LOVES to assume things
and this word "assume" was a word he told me never to use
however he does not realise he contradicts himself
and goes on assuming that watever i do behind the computer screen
is something that is not related to studies
my dearest dad,
perhaps you may think that these hurtful words you say to me
will help me do better in studies
but NO.
they dont
they lower my self esteem
i used to block out these words, i didnt want myself to feel so useless
to feel so dumb, to know that i was the worst child
but as time goes by you say this twice a year
every year
and slowing you hav convinced me that i'm every lousy thing that you hav said
no dad i'm not like my siblings
i try to be but i cant
theres nothing i can do
everyone is different, you cant expect me to be completely be the same as them
and whenever you are finished with me
all my siblings do is to throw dirty looks and frowns at me
they take sides
they arent like me
they dont use rough language, they dont even use the word "shut up"
yes i'm different and i know that
and i cant do anything about it
so cant you.
my siblings are bitches and bastards. i swear